Charles was born in Scotland in 1600 and was remarkable as he was the first person in Britain ever to be called Charles. He was a sickly child and was put into the care of the Dutch born Alletta Carey who taught him how to walk and talk. This meant that he could only speak Dutch and walk in clogs but he was a clever boy and soon won the affection of the court. He always remembered his time with his Dutch nanny and, in honour of her Low County origins, he resolved to remain a very short man and grew to just 4' 6".
Charles was plagued throughout his life by communication difficulties – he spoke English with a strong Dutch twang and spoke Dutch with a distinctive Scottish lilt. As a teenager, he began to acquire a reputation for his effeminate ways and in 1603 he was made Marquess of Ormond, the girliest title in Britain. Nonetheless, he was soon engaged to be married to the Spanish Infanta. He soon decided that he didn't want to marry an infant and instead married the French Princess Henrietta Maria who was almost as tiny as he was. This made him very unpopular amongst the English who distrusted Henrietta Maria's snail-eating, garlic-chomping ways and her habit of using a hole in the ground as a toilet.
This was the start of Charles' long conflict with Parliament. The opposition was lead by John Pimms whose political campaigning was funded by the alcoholic drink he patented in 1636. Pimms continued to oppose the King even after Parliament was closed, campaigning against the introduction of 'shit money' - an extra-parliamentary tax which was imposed by Charles in 1534 in an attempt to pay for his government without having to ask Parliament to raise taxes. 'Shit money' involved charging people for disposal of their household waste; a service that had previously been provided free of charge by the local council.
Things came to a head after the 'Bishop's War' broke out in Scotland. Charles soon found that having an army comprised entirely of Bishops was both inefficient (Bishops make notoriously bad soldiers) and costly (Vestments do not come cheap.) In order to fund his efforts, Charles had to recall Parliament. Pimms saw his chance and used the new Parliament to attack the King. The King retaliated by declaring Civil War - manners being considered so important in the 17th century that they were observed even in wartime.
Eventually, Charles was captured and put on trial for treason and other high crimes. He was duly found guilty of treason but let off the charge of high crimes as he was too short to reach them. The King was executed by beheading, although the executioner's axe was reputed to have gone over his head on three occasions before the executioner got his aim right.
The King remained popular in France where he was venerated as a Saint by the royal family. Louis XI even went as far to have himself overthrown and beheaded in honour of Charles' memory.
