Good Friday

In the Middle Ages, Good Friday was called 'God Friday' as it commemorated the day on which Our Lord Jesus Christ was crucified. The day was renamed Good Friday as part of the arch-secularizer Richard Nixon's great atheist crusade of 1970. His proposal to change the Great Seal to read, "In Easter Bunny we Trust," was narrowly defeated by the Senate.

April Fool's Day

April Fool's Day was introduced by the United Nations in 1974 to raise international awareness of the growing problem of idiocy. It was originally to be called International Idiocy Day and was to be held on April 17th but pro-idiocy campaigners successfully argued that idiots would not understand the words 'international' or 'idiocy' and would struggle to count to 17 and so the occasion was moved to April 1st and renamed April Fool's Day. It has been held successfully every year since but research shows that idiocy rates have not fallen and, in many Western countries, might actually be increasing.

Ricky Martin

Ricky Martin is a Puerto Rican pop singer famous in both the English and Spanish speaking worlds for his crazy songs. He caused shock throughout the pop music industry when he revealed in 2010 that he is homosexual. On the same day, the Pope issued an encyclical to announce that he is a Catholic and a committee of bears held a press conference in Washington DC to make clear that they do, in fact, shit in the woods.

British Foreign Policy

Britain never used to need a foreign policy because it ruled all of the foreign countries anyway. This ended after the Second World War when the Empire was lost. Since then, Britain's foreign policy has consisted of three strands. The first is to do everything possible to annoy the French. The second is to do as little as possible to annoy all the countries that used to be in the Empire to make up for all the terrible things they did in the past. The third is to provide a fig-leaf of international respectability to the Americans whenever they want to start a war. This makes Britain one of the most popular members of the International Community.