John Terry

John 'Dirty Boy' Terry is a mediocre football player for Chelsea who is widely acknowledged as England's greatest lover.

Terry made his name as a footballer by being the sort of talentless, thick, 'no-nonsense' defender that English football fans and commentators so admire and his career reached its pinnacle when he was named captain of the England team after he was voted player least like David Beckham.

It is, however, as a lothario that Terry has become most famous. With his legendary good looks and his pig-like physique, Terry has proven to be irresistible to women. One former lover was said to remark that, 'he was like an animal in bed...a rhinoceros.'

Rhyming Slang

Rhyming slang is a dialect that is popular amongst Cockneys which consists of phrases that rhyme with the common words they represent. For example, the phrase 'Thru'penny Bits' is used instead of the word 'Hits' as in, 'I really enjoy Katy Perry's Thru'penny Bits,' as the popular cockney comedian Russell Brand was heard to say when asked what first attracted him to his fiancée.

Economic Forecasting

Economic forecasting is the art of working out what everyone wants to happen and then saying that it will, loudly and in a confident voice, preferably while wearing an expensive looking suit. Economic forecasts are highly valued by governments, stock market investors, banks and other important people who will do whatever economic forecasters tell them to do despite the fact that all the available evidence proves beyond any reasonable doubt that the economic forecasts are worthless and that they would be better off rolling some dice or flipping a coin. The only consistently reliable economic forecast ever produced is that people will always pay ever increasing amounts for economic forecasts.

Wife Selling

Wife is a long forgotten English custom. It was used as a cheap alternative to divorce from the 17th century onwards and involved a man auctioning off his unwanted (or unaffordable) wife in order to take on a newer (or cheaper) model - if he was lucky he might be ale to pick up a bargin at the same auction.

Although never strictly legal, the practice often occurred quite openly with sales often being advertised in the newspaper. One such example from 1683 read; "For sale, one wiffe. Most comely. Goode condition; but one carefull owner. 3 shillings and 4 pence O.N.O." Records show the she went for 5 shillings, making her husband a tidy profit with which he bought a new cow.

The phenomenon became increasingly rare but only finally died out in the 1960s when the sexual revolution caused the bottom to fall out of the market.