Tony Blair

Hamish Anthony MacBlair was born in Edinburgh in 1953. He had an unhappy childhood due to his allergy to porridge and the bullying he suffered at school due to his English accent. His one friend was a shy young A-student called Gordon Broon who, due to his strict religious upbringing, refused to join in the porridge jokes. Despite Gordon's friendship, Hamish emigrated to England at the first opportunity. To fit in, he dropped the 'Mac' from his surname and used his second Christian name as the English found it impossible to correctly pronounce 'Hamish.'

Tony soon resolved to become a lawyer and politician, having been told that this was where the real money was, and he soon managed to get himself adopted as a candidate for the Labour Party. He lost the election for Beaconsfield but impressed the Party Leader Michael Foot (104) and was selected as candidate for the safe Labour seat of Sedgefield - although the legend that the people of Sedgefield held street parties in celebration is believed to be untrue. Tony won the election and entered Parliament in 1983.

Tony moved swiftly trough the ranks of the Party enjoying an ever increasing importance, salary and public profile under the leadership of Neil Kinnock and John Smith. He formed an alliance with his old friend Gordon Broon, who had also gone into politics, and by 1994 when John Smith died the two old pals were the dominant figures in the Party. It was Tony rather than Gordon who gained the leadership - this time his English accent and porridge phobia worked in his favour. Gordon dutifully accepted this turn of events with his characteristic good grace.

The Labour Party won the 1997 election under Tony's leadership and he became Prime Minister giving him a once in a lifetime opportunity to help the less privileged members of British society. His premiership was marked by numerous successes - he helped the poor by charging them to go to university, helped the people of Northern Ireland by claiming all the credit for the Peace Process and helped the people of the world by invading their countries so that they to could benefit from Tony's leadership. His proudest moment came after he relinquished the leadership of the country to his old friend Gordon Broon when, in 2008, he was voted Britain's richest Prime Minister.