Football is a game played by grown men who kick a bag of wind about a field for a living, then think up ways of blaming the result on the referee, the pitch or the conjunction of the stars. The team that thins of the most creative excuse is awarded the crown of World Champion. England achieved this accolade in 1966, and have maintained a proud record of excuses ever since, although they are often pipped to the post in excuse shoot-outs by the Germans and the Portuguese. Football is sometime called soccer, because footballers wear long socks.
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